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We knew right after we were married in 2022 we wanted to start a family. After 10 years I got off birth control and had a panel of blood work drawn. We immediately were directed to a fertility clinic due to low AMH high FSH (DOR patient). For a year we were back and forth with our Dr on if there was any treatment she could offer to us but ultimately we knew we needed to change clinics due to our situation being too complex and their unwillingness to proceed.
This brought us to our second clinic where we were able to do, 1 IUI, 2 egg retrievals and 2 fresh three day transfers, all to come up unsuccessful. We knew we wanted to work with a clinic in our area that specialises in DOR patients and had new innovative treatment but, we needed to wait until the new year to see her due to insurance coverage changes. This past Feb we started at my current clinic were we were able to do 1 IUI and 4 egg retrievals; the first one resulted in zero eggs retrieved, the second one resulted in 2 retrieved with zero making it to blast, the third we were able to get one and froze it on day three and the fourth we were also able to get one and froze it on day 3 as well. After we were done with 6 egg retrievals we knew we were done so we were moving onto transfer prep.
During this time we had a mock with Era, Receptiva and Emma and Alice completed which showed BCL6+ that we needed to now fight. We went through two rounds of Orlissa suppression and are now in the transfer stage of these two three day embryos. If these embryos are unsuccessful we are moving onto donor eggs in the new year. This journey has been long and hard and we are ready to move forward.
Navigating IVF treatments, working full-time and trying to maintain a social life can be very challenging. I was able to learn boundaries during this time and really value my time outside of treatments to do what I felt was best for me.
I always tell people how this journey is so “bittersweet” for me, which might sound odd. I never thought I would ever find the good in this journey but I am a better person because of it and in some ways I'm grateful for having to go through it. I have developed better boundaries in my life, strong relationships with women across the globe that I know will be lifetime friends and I have the healthiest mental health I ever have.
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Gosh, I was so naive, as soon as we got married I was going to get off birth control, we were going to have one boy and one girl, the perfect family. In hindsight I wish I would have taken care of my fertility more, I wish I would have had blood panels ran to be able to identify there was a problem and do something about it years ago, whether that be freeze my eggs, ect. But fertility is not a given, lifestyle, genetics and age are a factor and its not something to take for granted.
Without the IVF community of women around me and my two therapists I don't think I would be in the positive and healthy mind space that I am in now. Additionally, sharing my journey has been huge for me. Not only am I connecting with women also going through this but its showing me i'm not alone and helps me get day to day.
I wish we would have tried on our own for 6 months prior to starting IVF and I wish I would have been more educated on “all things IVF” in the beginning of my journey so I could have advocated for myself more in my beginning treatments.
Yes, I feel very lucky to have family from both my side and my husband's side that are supportive. I'm so incredibly grateful for the support from the infertility community and I don't know where I would be without them. I was also able to find a Therapist group that specialises in infertility support which has been a key component in my healing and moving forward with donor eggs. I feel very lucky with my clinic now and I feel comfortable advocating for myself but also my Dr collaborates to make sure we are making the best decisions for my care together.
Yes, during my last egg retrievals I made a call to my Dr about wanting to trigger when we did. After going through so many cycles you start to know your body and I knew it was time. She was supportive and that egg is the best quality egg we have ever received.
Educate yourself!! You have to know what's going on and what all the blood work means. Ask questions, question protocols if they are not working for you, ask for additional testing and don't be afraid to seek new care if your current provider isn't meeting your needs
I would like to see more education around fertility to women and men, it's such a taboo topic and if you don't have a clear path to parenthood and have to navigate infertility it can be very life changing.
I would also like to see treatment to patients be treated less about their SART data and success rates and more about individualized care to help the patient.
I hope in the future fertility care is more accessible to others. Fertility care is essential healthcare and needs to be treated as such.
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You are not alone-- you have an entire community behind you. This journey can be so hard in so many ways but the most important aspect of it is that you make time for yourself and you make decisions that are best for you and your spouse.
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